WTF?! Are You Serious?! (Season 1, Episode 1)

I feel like I've just crash landed on an alien civilization.
I don't feel like a human being at UNLV.

It is August 27th during the two thousand and eighth of the Lord's year...also known as the third day of classes.

I am surrounded by boots made of animal (or human) carcass, brightly colored cloth hanging from necks (mostly males surprisingly), and animal fur decorating every article of clothing and accessory. I feel like I am living on Hoth and I should be fearful of a Wampa attacking me, but no....this is Las Vegas and it is still 100 degrees out.

Don't these creatures around me sweat?! I mean, they look like humans....but they dress like indigenous people of an Alaskan tribe. I'm wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops; I'm sitting in an air-conditioned room; and I'm still sweating. WTF?!

When did the fashion industry force layers of clothes upon people instead of comfort? It baffles me! On second thought, is it the fashion industry or the music industry that creates these fashion norms? Do bands such as Panic (Exclamation point or not?) at the Disco really create these disastrous ensembles and make them mainstream? We're living in a period of zombiness tailored by the MTV Studios. These trolls of mainstream culture make me question the reason I'm here, I truly feel alien on this campus.

Remember that scene in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi when C-3P0 enters Jabba's Palace and is surrounded by the strangest of aliens, covered in reptilian skin and drooling green saliva? That's how UNLV feels. I am sitting in the UNLV Library, in a booth in the back, and right next to me is a guy with sunglasses on (in a covered building which is a pet peeve on a whole different level) and slouching in a chair with his legs on a table...sleeping. I guess this doesn't sound too strange in context, but just try to imagine him. He's wearing really short, green Oregon basketball shorts with a sleeveless blue shirt on, with his head at a 45 degree angle and his feet positioned a full six inches above his head.

Oh, speaking of sleeveless shirts, yesterday at the hospital there was a guy with down syndrome that had on a sleeveless Corona shirt with a 1998 Bulls Championship hat walking down the hall with his brother with a Malibu rum shirt on. I wonder who dresses him?


Anyhow, that's the end of this first installment...I promise the next episodes will be much more entertaining, I'm just aimlessly writing this in between classes and such.

Peace. Grapefruit. Amelia Earhart.

Ryan